December Meetings

12_11_11.mp3- Haggai 1

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‘Be patient with me,’ he begged...

Sara and I have been married for a little over 5 months, so we are still very new to this oneness thing. And being new means there is bound to be anxiety, misunderstanding, and just general discomfort.

We are adjusting to a way of life that challenges everything we have known to be true because now we have to view life through someone else's eyes. And our worldviews are very different. This is a very good thing in the longrun, but I know now why they say the first years of marriage are the hardest.

Yet even in this season of adjustment, I believe God is speaking to us individually through our relationship's ups and downs.

The latest challenge I recieved from God came through an arguement we had. Sara confronted me about an attitudinal slump that I had been in. I admitted that I had been in a negative mood for a period of a couple months, but still didn't see an immediate solution to what had been putting me in that state. She offered to pray for me, but something in her prayer about asking God to give me "positive thoughts" set me off again, as I took this part of her prayer to be unsupportive of the tough time I was going through emotionally.

I felt like she was saying to me "You are being negative, and I know YOU know that you are being negative. I also know that YOU know that you are trying to change your mood, but that is not good enough. You must change it immediately, or I will not accept you." Of course, later I found out that she did not intend to communicate this me at all, but for the moment I was feeling like the FELLOW SERVANT in this parable of Jesus:

“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

“The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

“But when that servant went out, he found one of his FELLOW SERVANTS who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

“His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’

“But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.” (Matt. 18:21-35)

I felt in my heart that she was demanding of me something that I already knew that I owed to her, a spirit of encouragement rather then negativity. I had told her that I wanted to give her this, but it might take some more time. So while I was talking to God about it and coming to this conclusion, I came to another conclusion.

I am just as much the first servant in this parable as the fellow servant.

For every time I felt like my repentence wasn't enough for my wife to accept me, there were five times that I couldn't accept her apology in favor of immediate change.

Talk about convinction. Bodyslammed on the pavement of conviction.

Here's how you know you are not being a good husband: when you do something to you wife that God would never do to you. I know God enough to see that He NEVER rubs my sin in my face. Any sign of repetence for my wrongdoings and He forgives me and accepts me with open arms. He runs to meet me instead of making me crawl back on my hands and knees in the mud of my iniquity.

But that is what I was requiring of my wife when she didn't do something that I expected.

God doesn't expect me to even know how to change myself, let alone do so all at once. So how could I expect my wife to immediately change the way she has lived all of her life at the blink of an eye. It's impossible and rather cruel.

Needless to say, an apology was in order. As I was explaining how I've been setting a poor example for problem solving in our marriage, I learned that she never even intended to communicate that she needed me to change immediately OR ELSE.

It's funny to me how God used that situation to skim off a major character flaw in my life: my unwillingness to be patient with other people in my life.

It was a hard lesson, but a good one that I will be revisiting on a regular basis. I can see how having this flaw remain in my life could absolutely ruin my future kids' hope. They will need me unfailing, unconditional love. They will need my patience. They will need forgiveness up to seventy times seven. And I want to be prepared to give them that.

Luckily, I do not have a Father that threatens me if I do not "clean up my act." He is the most astute oportunist around. Loving me into submission every time.

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The Cost of Being a Disciple

²⁵ Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: ²⁶ “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. ²⁷ And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

²⁸ “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? ²⁹ For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, ³⁰ saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’

³¹ “Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won’t he first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? ³² If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. ³³ In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.

³⁴ “Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? ³⁵ It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out.

“Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.”

Jesus here points out the fact that people routinely fail to plan for the consequences of their decisions. They will rush in to a new project or task, perhaps in a fit of emotion, without thinking clearly about what it will take to successfully complete.

There is a lot of anxiety in the Western Christian world about evangelism that completely ignores the implications of this verse. Jesus appears to be saying that there is a point BEFORE you become his disciple that you have an individual decision about whether or not you are willing to pay for that decision- possibly with your life. You have a decision, even after you know the truth, that will decide your future.

Every message on evangelism I hear seems to focus on getting as many of the "lost" saved as quickly as possible. Doomsday language is used liberally.

'Get them to say the sinners prayer and chalk another one up for the good guys.'

I am seeing that this mindset cheapens the act of becoming a disciple of Christ. How many Christian witnessing tracts have you read that say: "Do not pray this prayer unless you'll hate your family and lose your life before denying Christ"?

The religious are still focused only on what their eyes can see. A person in a pew is goal. As long as my neighbor comes to church on Sunday, I can stop worrying. Or even, nowadays, as long as they are hip to the latest Christian celebrity...they are a disciple of Christ.

Did Jesus think it was easy? He never appears to set up a complicated road to salvation, but he does say that it will cost you everything.

Think hard before you invite someone to church because you think they will like it and get saved. That might be the worst thing that can happen because they have not yet decided if they were willing to complete the journey.

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God's Building Project 2010

I believe it is today that marks the opening on the new world’s largest building, the Burj Dubai. It has a fantastic, familiar look to it. Kind of like the designers took notes from the Wizard of Oz and the Never Ending Story. I almost want an evil sorcerer to take control of the building and sit in a big black throne on the top floor just because it would feel right. It has that wide base and craggily torso reaching up to that pointy spire you look for in an evil lair.

But I guess it doubles as a good, sturdy design too. I read somewhere that the Chicago company that designed the structure learned a lot about building high (not stoner high) with this one, and they’ve concluded that the world may see a building as tall as a mile in the near future.

In 1 Corinthians 3, Paul talks about what kind of building GOD is interested in developing, and he does it in the context of a church that has managed to remain worldly despite all opportunities to grow:

1But I, brothers, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ. 2 I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready, 3for you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way? 4For when one says, "I follow Paul," and another, "I follow Apollos," are you not being merely human?

5What then is Apollos? What is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, as the Lord assigned to each. 6 I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. 7So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. 8He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor. 9For we are God’s fellow workers. You are God’s field, God’s building.

10 According to the grace of God given to me, like a skilled master builder I laid a foundation, and someone else is building upon it. Let each one take care how he builds upon it. 11For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw— 13 each one’s work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. 14If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. 15If anyone’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire.

16 Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you? 17If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.

18 Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you thinks that he is wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. 19For the wisdom of this world is folly with God. For it is written, "He catches the wise in their craftiness," 20and again, "The Lord knows the thoughts of the wise, that they are futile." 21So let no one boast in men. For all things are yours, 22whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, 23and you are Christ’s, and Christ is God’s.

From what I know off hand about the Corinthian church, they were not exactly models for future churches to emulate. Specifically in this circumstance, Paul is chastising them for remaining in an infantile state when they should be on to more important items on the Sanctification agenda. The evidence of this was that the church was involved in useless quarrels about what PERSON’S ministry was better. Sound familiar? I have come to loathe these types of discussions… but probably not nearly enough. Sometimes there is nothing more satisfying to the flesh than a good throwing around of one's spiritual weight in the arenas of Who Is Wrong and Who is Right.

7So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.

Paul clarifies that PEOPLE in the Kingdom of God are at best SERVANTS and nothing more. God uses nobodies to accomplish His work by His grace. The worldly way of looking at it is to assume that God chooses only the most competent and skilled of His children to take the “really important” jobs, like talking in front of big crowds and gaining spiritual followings on Facebook. Nothing could be farther from the truth, and I’ve lost all patience for preaching that highlights the ministry of the speaker. I am not God, and I cannot breathe a testing fire onto the works of God’s servants. So why would I care to hear a personal pep rally? Judgment will reveal what type of building materials you have used and what has been built in you, so working for the approval of men is worthless. Teachers who lead people to themselves are promoting a worldly church and increasing divisions there within.

12Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw— 13 each one’s work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it.

I used to think that if you are a Christian at least doing SOMETHING in this life, you’ll probably get at least SOME points with the Lord in heaven. These verses blow up that misconception. It is indeed possible to labor your whole life, building a Burj Dubai of straw and hay, only to have the carefully weaved masterpiece burnt to the ground by the Lord’s Judgment. What a sad day some folks are in for when their life’s work is engulfed in flames right before their eyes. It is a sobering thought.

Luckily, 1 Cor 3 shares with us the key to building a structure that will stand such high scrutiny.

1. The most important element of your structure must be the foundation. There is no other saving foundation mentioned than the foundation of Jesus Christ. This means there can be no strong buildings based in family values or good work ethic or even the Bible. What you do in this life and who you become must grow out of a real relationship with Jesus. I imagine that before some people start to develop this relationship, there may be a lot of deep digging to be done in order to reach the depths of who they are. No wonder it is so hard for deeply religious people to come to the Lord. Their foundations have already been laid. I have been recently asking myself What Foundation(s) Have I Been Building My Life's Work on? Is it Christ alone, or have I been building a guest house on the foundation of my own insecurities?

2. The second most important part of building an approved structure involves what will be built atop the foundation. The text mentions that there are a number of materials that may be used, some of which can withstand scrutiny and some that will barely stand by themselves. False teachers peddle the weakest of materials, often for a profit. Faithful servants of God hand out only the best of materials with no compromise on quality. Do you know the difference? Do I? Something tells me these are much more important questions than what size LCD TV I should get for my new apartment.

Here’s to beginning a new year with the right plans for a building that will pass God’s inspection standards.

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Power

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth. (Acts 1:8)

I had my first conscious encounter with this power when I was 11. It happened at a Christian camp that held services every night. The experience was described as an infilling of the Holy Spirit, or the baptism in the Holy Spirit. It was spoken about often, kind of like an infomercial talks about the newest must have invention (no, not PooTrap). By the time they're finished speaking, you're diving for the phone. This infilling was power to help people. It was wholeness. It was boldness. It was everything a child lacks. Why wouldn't I want such a thing if I could get it? Soon we were given an opportunity to receive this experience at an altar time following the service, and I was ready to get my share. This part is fuzzy, but I remember a lot of worship music and a lot of direction from the preacher. He would tell us when to raise our hands and what specifically to pray for and when. I don't think it worked right away because I recall feeling inadequate, like I was doing something wrong because it wasn't working for me. The other kids didn't look like anything was happening to them either except every couple of minutes someone would just start breaking down in uncontrollable weeping. Obviously some kind of power was affecting them because the way they were acting was powerfully uncool. It was awkward and weird. I think some kids changed their minds about wanting to receive after seeing that.

A bit later, the campers all got in a line and walked in between two lines of camp counselors who were praying for us. I guess that's what did it for me. When I got through the "Holy Spirit Car Wash," as it is affectionately called, I was overwhelmed with the feeling of God being there. It's hard to explain, but anyone who has felt it can relate. It was His presence and mercy and love. I couldn't see Him, but I was aware of something of Him. So much so that I deeply felt how incredibly unfit I was to receive whatever I was feeling. It wasn't a self-hatred kind of feeling, but it caused me to repent deeply.

I remember being advised on how to "speak in tongues" next. They weren't telling me how to do it. I didn't need help with that because it just sort of came out when I opened my mouth and exercised my vocal cords. It wasn't quite gibberish because I didn't have to think of what syllables to pronounce next, and it really didn't sound like any language I've ever heard before. I notice that it was completely under my control when I could start and stop speaking it too. And that's all I knew. Other kids were speaking in tongues as well, but we weren't doing it out of wanting to belong or because it was "cool." There was nothing cool about it.

Another thing that happened was that I got very loud. I don't even remember what I was saying, but I just started yelling. At one point I grabbed and Bible and held it over my head and started talking about it. I'm laughing at how dumb I must have looked. This was a definitely something supernatural because I was actually at least year younger than every kid at that camp, and I was insecure and quiet nearly the whole week. There was no way I would put myself out there even to play some goofy game, let alone start yelling gobbledeegook words at the top of my lungs in the middle of a sea of older kids. For the first time in my entire life, I didn't care one bit what my peers thought of me. All the fear was completely gone. It came back eventually. The next day a girl came up to me and said "you were loud last night," and I was embarrassed. "So?" I retorted. Yeah, I was never great at comebacks.

On a following night, the preacher spoke about what the infilling in the Holy Spirit was for. It was an empowering to tell people about Jesus. This never really happened for me. Once I got back to my middle school with scores of kids who held my confidence in the palm of their hands, all possibility of me preaching to them dried up. It's not that I didn't care. It's that I felt unprepared for such a daunting task. This brought on a lot of guilt. I noticed that the feeling of fullness from camp didn't last, though that particular camp experience was certainly not the last time I felt it.

Today I look back on such times and I think, "God has such an ability and willingness to come down and meet with us in such a powerful way. Even children can receive Him. Why doesn't he do this all the time and to people with more social clout? Why doesn't he do this to people who don't believe He exists? Why doesn't he fill me with the Holy Spirit right now as I'm typing this, so the next pagan I come across can get a healthy dose of God's power? Why did I have to go through a car wash the first time to get his gift instead of just receiving it right when I asked for it?"

"Why am I now older and finding that these experiences are thousands of miles away when I'm supposed to be closer to him than ever before?"

I believe the answer to all these questions is "Wait."

These times taught me a few things: (1) God exists. I think it's kind of funny that with all my Bible studies and religious upbringing, the only thing truly keeping my faith strong today are my encounters with real power. (2) He is so not-of-this-world that just a taste of His presence could cause you to do bizarre things. (3) It is totally up to Him when such "tastings" occur and (4) Even with the personal evidence I have of who God is, I continue to sin.

It is not for me to know why God does everything He does, but it doesn't matter that God does not market His son like I would. All that matters is that He is forgiving of those who repent.

Luke 10 has an example of some disciples who get jazzed up about having some kind of power from God, but Jesus awakens them to what is really important:

¹⁷The seventy-two returned with joy and said, "Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name." ¹⁸He replied, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. ¹⁹I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. ²⁰However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven."

Maybe God wants his believers to know of His ability to wield power over every person place or thing, but He protects us from worshiping that power. Imagine if God gave one body of believers the distinct power to always heal anyone they wanted who was sick. Such a church would gain so much influence. Maybe too much. They would get TV shows, book deals, and massive amounts of attention. As much money as they want. They would likely collapse under the weight of it. I can think of many examples of individuals who have had such power given to them by God, but they have not been able to handle its implications. Next thing you hear, they have cheated on their wife or committed tax fraud or some other frivolous act of discreditably. Why did they crack under the spiritual pressure? I don't know for sure, but they were probably drawing their confidence in gifts rather than the Giver of gifts. Luckily for them, God never loved them for their ability to be used, and that's a good first lesson after a very public, spiritual fall.

So for now, I think the most important thing I can do is pray for workers to be sent into the Lord's harvest field. Pray that God's kingdom comes to the world, whether it be in a miraculous revealing or a small whisper to those being called. Even if I never experience the goose bumps and the manifestations again, God must still receive worship or our ipods will cry out. (I had to use something as common as rocks in Bible times.)

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Authority to Rule

I have no formal research to back this up, but when it comes to politics, I think most Americans agree that anarchy is not the answer to a peaceful society. (Sorry, Ghandi!) Deep down, we believe that no one individual has the best interests of all people in mind when deciding what career to choose, what car to buy, or what to eat for breakfast. So we put a certain amount of trust in a created authority. It's not perfect, but it is better than dividing that power up a couple hundred million times to see what your goofy neighbor does with limitless rights.

Recently, a republican congressman was censured for breaking decorum at the expense of an authority. Even though he apologized shortly after, Joe Wilson was certainly not sorry for his opinions. He wanted to respectfully let the everyone know that our president is in fact a lying grifter. Since the incident, he has been the subject of many jokes from pundits and comedians. Apparently, it is rather out of the ordinary in America to publicly denounce respected authority. Who would have guessed?



Also dominating the news for awhile was Kanye West's outburst at an awards show. Though Kanye was simply stating his honest opinion, he was quickly put on the nation's most wanted list. For about a week, people from all different backgrounds and philosophies, genders and colors, were united in their hatred for this man. I think there might be hope for Israel and Palestine some day if they can start their dialogue with "Hey, so how about that douche-lick Kanye West?" This is further evidence that though we are a country founded on free speech, there are some institutions sacred enough to warrant a certain level of respect. And if that institution is crossed, it spells social suicide.

If you believe in one God, it is often assumed that He is an all-powerful and all-knowing Being of benevolence. I don't know many people who admit to both believing in God and thinking He is unfit to be in power. Remember, I said "who admit." The truth is, believers are questioning Him all the time. There's a Joe Wilson in all of us who read Romans 8:28 and take it with a grain of salt. "Kanye Christopher" rears his ugly head every week when I see my coworker credited for a job well done and sneer, knowing my accomplishments remain unsung. I believe in God, but do I believe He is deserving of the title?

Believers have consciously accepted that this Being has authority in our lives, but one thing we refuse to give him is a license to rule.

If anyone had cause to complain, it was probably Job, but even in his situation we find the Lord fiercely defending His right as Lord to rule over his creation. There is no setting or circumstance in which we have the authority to question the Creator of the world, and yet this is the primary characteristic of his followers. Imagine that. Believers have a hard time believing. Odd, but true.

Could it be that with such a shortage of followers that actually trust Him in their situations, that the Lord is calling His people to something more than just fulfilling a checklist of spiritual activity every week? Could it be that less of more is more than more of less? Despite my reluctance, I am becoming a believer that believing is much more important than doing. And lately it is what I don't do that demonstrates the strength of this belief.

How hurtful it must be to our God when we will mow his grass and send him a gift on Christmas from Amazon but fail to give our hearts to Him. He holds a hollow version of authority in our lives much like the current royal family of England. No wonder so many disillusioned are emerging and gaining power by publicly questioning "religion" or the importance of God. Their voices are getting louder the more they see people who trust God only with words.

The test of trust? Find the most important thing in your life and ask yourself honestly if you trust God enough to take the reigns. "But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but..." Most will walk away from the question saddened because we just aren't ready to accept God's authority to rule.

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Slavery

--8/15 UPDATE-- About the site being down...My DNS settings were altered somehow, and I didn't much care because I've been dating a super awesome girl. I may start writing four times a month again..or maybe once a month... or maybe not at all.

When we think about people in prison and maybe try to put ourselves in their shoes for a moment, we shutter at the thought of being so confined. Our freedom means so much to us in this country. If we don't get what is coming to us or if our rights are taken, there will be hell to pay. Racial tension exists in this country because there was a time when people of a certain ethnicity were enslaved. Modern America wonders how we could have allowed such an atrocity on our soil because taking away someone's rights in this country is a mortal offense.

So why do we willingly enslave ourselves to sin?

³⁴Jesus answered them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin.

We'll die for our right to free speech, but completely wave our freedom to live an abundant life. Rest is knocking on our door, but we don't want rest, we want sleepless nights. We want death and depression because receiving help from God to become righteous is out of the question.

²²Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' ²³Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

People have this picture of Christianity as something you do right. You practice at it and get good at being a Christian. I think that's all wrong. There's a saying in the business world (not that I know anything about the business world) "It's not what you can do, it's who you know." Maybe that saying is true spiritually. If you know Christ, then you are being saved no matter what you are good at or bad at. A holy life is the natural result of that knowledge. No guilt-trip is necessary because the Holy Spirit convicts.

All of this random thinking spawned from a question I posed to myself recently: how can a Christian in prison have anything to be joyful about?

The answer? He has everything to be joyful about because the only real prisoners are those that continually let their desires rule them by sinning. When you put Jesus on that throne, you are free from the torture of a selfish life. And it is torture to only care about yourself.

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