Relationship Model for Living

Matthew 6:25-33
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

As I was getting to know a friend, she asked me about my plans for the future, and that really got me thinking. I know that I am a planner, but I also know since God has invaded my life there are many things that I have not been allowed to plan.

For instance, employment : I've learned that it is not up to me where I go and what I do for money. I started out in high school wanting to be an electronics engineer, and when that didn't sit right, I assumed I would be working vocationally in a church organization. Now I know that's not where He wants me either. A hundred schemes later, and I've decided to give up and let Him win. God has always provided for my needs, and He always gives me the next step if I put His plans first. So when I am not backsliding in my faith, I don't even try to make plans for my future employment. I'm taking classes in management right now because they are free. WHO KNOWS where that will lead me.

It makes sense when you think about it, because I am not a "human doing" who is defined by his job. I am a "human being," who exists to relate with my creator. There are much more important things in life than what I do for survival.

While that is true, I still don't think it is right to just drift through life without taking responsibility for what is important. True, God has taken over some of the major decisions in my life, but I have been left with a tremendous obligation (and privilege) to maintain what life should be all about...my relationships.

I read something recently that was talking about the extreme value in the people that fill our lives every day. We often forget or simply deny that people are immortal. We are not dust in the wind. We will be alive forever (apart from or in relationship with God). So that means your mailman will be alive forever. That guy who plays his music too loud in the apartment next to you will live forever. Your family members will exist forever. Knowing that people are eternal puts a lot more value on them than we are used to showing.

The Matthew verse above is wisdom from God, telling us not to get caught up in the things that won't matter in the scheme of eternity. He is telling us to focus on the eternal, and then He will fill in the minor details that seem so major to us when we have our priorities out of whack. So knowing what I AM allowed to plan, I have created a rudimentary life model...a picture of what I want my life in this world to be, based on scriptural principles:



You'll notice a few things. First, every tier represents some kind of relationship. What I will do for a living or for fun or for clothes is not on a platform, because I fully expect God to provide outlets for those needs as I focus on what IS on the platforms. Nothing in my life should matter as much as my relationships...most importantly, my relationship with God.

I find that my life REALLY starts to spiral down into depression fast when I put something on the outside of the circle above God's place. When I get a little too into my self-image or a new gadget to the point that I would ignore God to indulge in my quickly dissolving appetites, I soon learn the meaning of "unfulfilled." That's around when I start blaming God for not being around when I need him. It's so hypocritical of me, so its' a good thing God is patient.

Family should be an easy one. Hitler probably loved his mom. If the worst people in the world can love those that love them, it should be a given. What's hard is when family members don't love you back. Sometimes its easier to love friends than family because they aren't as close to you to see all of your wrinkles.

Friends are anyone that you've gotten to know ever, even a little bit, and not hated afterward. It's really hard to keep in touch with everyone by this definition. We are prohibited from this by our natural limitations, but those you can keep the lines of communication open with are not to be cast aside or ignored.

The hardest of these tiers to really care about will obviously be the last one because I often put my own entertainment or pretty much anything before strangers (definitely enemies). There's too many risks to care about strangers for too long. We naturally fear the unfamiliar. It's part of our fallenness, but Jesus loved people on the street enough to die for them. That's what we should be going for.

Outside the circle thingy are parts of life that are not eternal. Okay, yeah, you can argue with me that there will be adventure in heaven, but whatever adventure in heaven will be infinitely more adventurous. So let's put "worldly" in front of all those words for now to make them temporary.

Some of them can make me feel very good, and there's nothing sinful about them, in and of themselves. It is just that they can so easily be made into false gods. Personal wellness is great great great great, but some people can put so much energy into their diet and exercise routine that their relationship with God looks like nothing compared to their relationship with their whey protein shake. Or in the pursuit of "the job," a man can neglect his wife and kids, like in the movie Click. Now that I think of it, there are a lot of comedies that have examples of this model getting screwed up. A movie called Shopaholic is coming out...can you guess what she will be putting before her relationships with hilarious results? It rhymes with Gooey Baton.

What about people who don't have the centerpiece, but the rest of the relationships are developed. They don't have faith in the God of the Bible, but love people around them and even strangers. I think they can be fairly happy people, but there will always be something major that they can't put their finger on missing. I'm talking out of ignorance, but I imagine its like the empty feeling I get when I spend hours editing a video and find out that it won't be used. There's an ache in the body for something immaterial that can't be described.. an unquenchable thirst, like the woman had in John 4.

The most important thing about this model is that it is not self-centered. It is God-centered. Meaning, the point of this model isn't to provide me with the most happiness. The point is to get the closest I can to God, and allow the rest to fall into place.