Power

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth. (Acts 1:8)

I had my first conscious encounter with this power when I was 11. It happened at a Christian camp that held services every night. The experience was described as an infilling of the Holy Spirit, or the baptism in the Holy Spirit. It was spoken about often, kind of like an infomercial talks about the newest must have invention (no, not PooTrap). By the time they're finished speaking, you're diving for the phone. This infilling was power to help people. It was wholeness. It was boldness. It was everything a child lacks. Why wouldn't I want such a thing if I could get it? Soon we were given an opportunity to receive this experience at an altar time following the service, and I was ready to get my share. This part is fuzzy, but I remember a lot of worship music and a lot of direction from the preacher. He would tell us when to raise our hands and what specifically to pray for and when. I don't think it worked right away because I recall feeling inadequate, like I was doing something wrong because it wasn't working for me. The other kids didn't look like anything was happening to them either except every couple of minutes someone would just start breaking down in uncontrollable weeping. Obviously some kind of power was affecting them because the way they were acting was powerfully uncool. It was awkward and weird. I think some kids changed their minds about wanting to receive after seeing that.

A bit later, the campers all got in a line and walked in between two lines of camp counselors who were praying for us. I guess that's what did it for me. When I got through the "Holy Spirit Car Wash," as it is affectionately called, I was overwhelmed with the feeling of God being there. It's hard to explain, but anyone who has felt it can relate. It was His presence and mercy and love. I couldn't see Him, but I was aware of something of Him. So much so that I deeply felt how incredibly unfit I was to receive whatever I was feeling. It wasn't a self-hatred kind of feeling, but it caused me to repent deeply.

I remember being advised on how to "speak in tongues" next. They weren't telling me how to do it. I didn't need help with that because it just sort of came out when I opened my mouth and exercised my vocal cords. It wasn't quite gibberish because I didn't have to think of what syllables to pronounce next, and it really didn't sound like any language I've ever heard before. I notice that it was completely under my control when I could start and stop speaking it too. And that's all I knew. Other kids were speaking in tongues as well, but we weren't doing it out of wanting to belong or because it was "cool." There was nothing cool about it.

Another thing that happened was that I got very loud. I don't even remember what I was saying, but I just started yelling. At one point I grabbed and Bible and held it over my head and started talking about it. I'm laughing at how dumb I must have looked. This was a definitely something supernatural because I was actually at least year younger than every kid at that camp, and I was insecure and quiet nearly the whole week. There was no way I would put myself out there even to play some goofy game, let alone start yelling gobbledeegook words at the top of my lungs in the middle of a sea of older kids. For the first time in my entire life, I didn't care one bit what my peers thought of me. All the fear was completely gone. It came back eventually. The next day a girl came up to me and said "you were loud last night," and I was embarrassed. "So?" I retorted. Yeah, I was never great at comebacks.

On a following night, the preacher spoke about what the infilling in the Holy Spirit was for. It was an empowering to tell people about Jesus. This never really happened for me. Once I got back to my middle school with scores of kids who held my confidence in the palm of their hands, all possibility of me preaching to them dried up. It's not that I didn't care. It's that I felt unprepared for such a daunting task. This brought on a lot of guilt. I noticed that the feeling of fullness from camp didn't last, though that particular camp experience was certainly not the last time I felt it.

Today I look back on such times and I think, "God has such an ability and willingness to come down and meet with us in such a powerful way. Even children can receive Him. Why doesn't he do this all the time and to people with more social clout? Why doesn't he do this to people who don't believe He exists? Why doesn't he fill me with the Holy Spirit right now as I'm typing this, so the next pagan I come across can get a healthy dose of God's power? Why did I have to go through a car wash the first time to get his gift instead of just receiving it right when I asked for it?"

"Why am I now older and finding that these experiences are thousands of miles away when I'm supposed to be closer to him than ever before?"

I believe the answer to all these questions is "Wait."

These times taught me a few things: (1) God exists. I think it's kind of funny that with all my Bible studies and religious upbringing, the only thing truly keeping my faith strong today are my encounters with real power. (2) He is so not-of-this-world that just a taste of His presence could cause you to do bizarre things. (3) It is totally up to Him when such "tastings" occur and (4) Even with the personal evidence I have of who God is, I continue to sin.

It is not for me to know why God does everything He does, but it doesn't matter that God does not market His son like I would. All that matters is that He is forgiving of those who repent.

Luke 10 has an example of some disciples who get jazzed up about having some kind of power from God, but Jesus awakens them to what is really important:

¹⁷The seventy-two returned with joy and said, "Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name." ¹⁸He replied, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. ¹⁹I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. ²⁰However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven."

Maybe God wants his believers to know of His ability to wield power over every person place or thing, but He protects us from worshiping that power. Imagine if God gave one body of believers the distinct power to always heal anyone they wanted who was sick. Such a church would gain so much influence. Maybe too much. They would get TV shows, book deals, and massive amounts of attention. As much money as they want. They would likely collapse under the weight of it. I can think of many examples of individuals who have had such power given to them by God, but they have not been able to handle its implications. Next thing you hear, they have cheated on their wife or committed tax fraud or some other frivolous act of discreditably. Why did they crack under the spiritual pressure? I don't know for sure, but they were probably drawing their confidence in gifts rather than the Giver of gifts. Luckily for them, God never loved them for their ability to be used, and that's a good first lesson after a very public, spiritual fall.

So for now, I think the most important thing I can do is pray for workers to be sent into the Lord's harvest field. Pray that God's kingdom comes to the world, whether it be in a miraculous revealing or a small whisper to those being called. Even if I never experience the goose bumps and the manifestations again, God must still receive worship or our ipods will cry out. (I had to use something as common as rocks in Bible times.)

Read more...

Authority to Rule

I have no formal research to back this up, but when it comes to politics, I think most Americans agree that anarchy is not the answer to a peaceful society. (Sorry, Ghandi!) Deep down, we believe that no one individual has the best interests of all people in mind when deciding what career to choose, what car to buy, or what to eat for breakfast. So we put a certain amount of trust in a created authority. It's not perfect, but it is better than dividing that power up a couple hundred million times to see what your goofy neighbor does with limitless rights.

Recently, a republican congressman was censured for breaking decorum at the expense of an authority. Even though he apologized shortly after, Joe Wilson was certainly not sorry for his opinions. He wanted to respectfully let the everyone know that our president is in fact a lying grifter. Since the incident, he has been the subject of many jokes from pundits and comedians. Apparently, it is rather out of the ordinary in America to publicly denounce respected authority. Who would have guessed?



Also dominating the news for awhile was Kanye West's outburst at an awards show. Though Kanye was simply stating his honest opinion, he was quickly put on the nation's most wanted list. For about a week, people from all different backgrounds and philosophies, genders and colors, were united in their hatred for this man. I think there might be hope for Israel and Palestine some day if they can start their dialogue with "Hey, so how about that douche-lick Kanye West?" This is further evidence that though we are a country founded on free speech, there are some institutions sacred enough to warrant a certain level of respect. And if that institution is crossed, it spells social suicide.

If you believe in one God, it is often assumed that He is an all-powerful and all-knowing Being of benevolence. I don't know many people who admit to both believing in God and thinking He is unfit to be in power. Remember, I said "who admit." The truth is, believers are questioning Him all the time. There's a Joe Wilson in all of us who read Romans 8:28 and take it with a grain of salt. "Kanye Christopher" rears his ugly head every week when I see my coworker credited for a job well done and sneer, knowing my accomplishments remain unsung. I believe in God, but do I believe He is deserving of the title?

Believers have consciously accepted that this Being has authority in our lives, but one thing we refuse to give him is a license to rule.

If anyone had cause to complain, it was probably Job, but even in his situation we find the Lord fiercely defending His right as Lord to rule over his creation. There is no setting or circumstance in which we have the authority to question the Creator of the world, and yet this is the primary characteristic of his followers. Imagine that. Believers have a hard time believing. Odd, but true.

Could it be that with such a shortage of followers that actually trust Him in their situations, that the Lord is calling His people to something more than just fulfilling a checklist of spiritual activity every week? Could it be that less of more is more than more of less? Despite my reluctance, I am becoming a believer that believing is much more important than doing. And lately it is what I don't do that demonstrates the strength of this belief.

How hurtful it must be to our God when we will mow his grass and send him a gift on Christmas from Amazon but fail to give our hearts to Him. He holds a hollow version of authority in our lives much like the current royal family of England. No wonder so many disillusioned are emerging and gaining power by publicly questioning "religion" or the importance of God. Their voices are getting louder the more they see people who trust God only with words.

The test of trust? Find the most important thing in your life and ask yourself honestly if you trust God enough to take the reigns. "But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but..." Most will walk away from the question saddened because we just aren't ready to accept God's authority to rule.

Read more...